Raw

I’ve gotten a few requests for an update.
Things are going well. I’m still attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings. I go to about three a week. I call my sponsor daily and I’m taking it one day at a time.

I’m not going to blog anymore. At least for now. What I am going through is very personal and not your normal “gotta lose xlbs for my bathing suit!” I’ve decided to keep my life private because I feel raw and exposed already. There’s something special about keeping something to yourself rather than blurting it out to the world.

I’d like to squelch a misconception about myself. Just because I’m not blogging about my life doesn’t mean I’m not living my life. I don’t want the perception to be that I’m not doing well because I’m quiet on the internet.

If you are a friend of mine and already have my phone number you may call me anytime if you’d like an update. 🙂

❤ Lauren

July 17, 2011 at 2:07 am 3 comments

Update

I am feeling very private lately. This blog is great but often leaves me exposed. I realize that anyone can read my blog and sometimes that fact frightens me.

Updates:

  • I’m still attending weekly OA meetings. I just went to my 10th meeting this past Sunday.
  • I danced my ass off at the Power & Light district with my fave bachelorette Becca this weekend.
  • I’m still working it at work. Good things are happening weekly to me here. I just need to remember to stay sane even though some people keep pulling me to the dark side.

I know its not much of an update but like I said. I’m feeling rather private.

Lauren

May 9, 2011 at 7:15 pm 2 comments

Success!

My husband pointed out over dinner that I was really getting down on myself. I tend to do that. So here is a post dedicated to the things I am doing right.

  • I swapped meals with him during dinner. I had ordered chicken Alfredo and he ordered the crusted tilapia. He asked me if I wanted to trade and I said no. I gathered up a large bite and just as I was about to touch it to my lips I said, “let’s do it. Now. Don’t say anything.”And with that my husband took my plate away as fast as he could and slid his plate in front of me. My heart was beating fast. When I stood up at the end of the meal my pants were nearly completely soaked from the nervous sweating I had. I even skipped going out for ice cream afterwards even after my husband said it was okay. YAY ME!
  • A recovering food addict told me on Sunday to create a bullseye. Inside the bullseye (the target area) write in all the foods you can eat with no problems. This would be salad, fish, grilled chicken, turkey meat, Greek yogurt, sugar free Jell-o, etc. Surrounding the center write in the foods that you do OK with but should not consume on a regular basis. These are hard candies, chocolate milk, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, etc. The outside ring is the bad stuff that triggers my addiction: pizza, ice cream, peanut butter flavored anything, chocolate, french fries, soda, etc. Just seeing this visual is extremely helpful! I recommend it for any compulsive overeater.
  • On Sunday I skipped eating McDonald’s. I totally wanted to and had already made up my mind. Josh called me and said he was getting lunch ready. If it weren’t for Josh I would have eaten there. I had to physically drive my car into the lane farthest from McDonald’s. Even as I passed by I had a fleeting moment where I thought I could u-turn. Again I had to yell, “NO!” to avoid pulling in the drive thru.

And with that I will pass.

Lauren

May 2, 2011 at 9:30 pm 6 comments

How Compulsive Overeaters Eat Cereal

Items Needed:
1 bowl – normal sized is fine
spoon
cereal of your choice
milk – preferably skim

Take all items to living room in front of computer or TV. Be sure to bring milk and cereal box with you.

Sit down, pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. Devour. Pour cereal in bowl, add milk. Devour. Pour cereal in leftover milk. 

At this point you may be out of cereal. Be sure to drink any leftover milk in bowl once you run out of cereal. This is also a good stopping place.

And that, my friends, is how you do it.

Lauren

May 2, 2011 at 4:26 pm 2 comments

A Brief Overview of Overeaters Anonymous

I realize that some people may not understand what goes on in Overeaters Anonymous or some of the terms that are used. In just a week I’ve learned so much about OA. I truly knew nothing about it except for parodies I’ve seen in the media.

First of all, Overeaters Anonymous is not a membership or a diet. You don’t “join” or pay any dues. They operate on donations so during the meeting they will pass a basket around and I donate what I can. They don’t tell me what to eat or what I shouldn’t eat.

Key Phrases you should know:
The 12 Steps are the same steps Alcoholics Anonymous uses in their program of recovery. They are guidelines to help one overcome compulsive eating.

Abstinence is the term used when one refrains from compulsive overeating. It is suggested to determine exactly what an individual needs to abstain from such as fast food, sugar, baked goods, and so on.

When a person has the floor and another individual speaks up before the person has finished is referred to as crosstalk. It is tempting to verbally react to what one is saying or offer your own feedback as in a conversation however it is frowned upon and should be saved for after the meeting.

A newcomer is someone that is new to OA. Upon the first visit the newcomer is offered a package filled with literature and the phone numbers of the persons attending the meeting.

“Sponsors are OA members who are living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their abilitiy,” The Tools of Recovery, Overeaters Anonymous. It is highly suggested that after a few meetings that an individual choose another person marked as a sponsor to aide them in recovery. A sponsor is called usually on a daily basis to discuss meal plans, struggles, and anything else.

A meeting starts with a group of individuals sitting at a table usually in a circle. The meeting is open with a moment of silence and then we recite the Serenity Prayer. One individual reads aloud an invitational speech inviting newcomers to stick with the program. The meeting leader (which alternates each week) states the purpose of OA and its guidelines like keeping OA out of the media to protect anonymity, its non affiliation with polital or religious parties and such. The leader inquiries if anyone has remained abstinent for 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, or more.

The team leader will then start to read aloud OA related literature like the 12 Steps, inspiring stories, or other topics. We take turns reading allowed the literature making sure to introduce ourselves anytime we speak.

When I introduce myself I state, “Hi, my name is Lauren and I am a compulsive overeater.” Some people refer to themselves as a recovering compulsive overeater. This means this individual has been able to refrain from compulsive overeating for over a year. The purpose of introduction every time one speaks is to ensure the group can remember everyone’s name.

After the article or chapter is completed the meeting is open to discussing the topic. However it is not open discussion where anyone can speak out whenever they want. We go around the room and each person speaks. Again, the individual introduces his or herself and then talks about the topic or whatever they want. It is preferred that no one speaks until it is their turn. This would be referred to as crosstalk.

At the end of the meeting the leader makes any necessary anouncements about retreats or news. The meeting comes to an end with the group hand in hand reciting the Serenity Prayer or the Lord’s Prayer. After the meeting members usually hug to give support or kudos to one another.

If you have any further questions let me know and I’ll try my best to answer.

For further information on Overeaters Anonymous visit the main website here.

April 26, 2011 at 6:19 pm 1 comment

What a man.

I was looking over some photos on my computer and found a few I wanted to share with you guys. I also doctored them up to make them look pretty using an online program called Picnik.

2006

I took this picture of myself in 2006 at Greers Ferry Lake in Arkansas where I’m from. I remember how beautiful the day was. The lake was serene and the weather was perfect. This is one of my favorite photos of myself.

 
 

This photo was taken at Josh’s duplex while we were dating. I don’t remember if we were engaged yet or not. We usually would play ping pong in his living room for hours with friends and eventually pass out. I remember this night we were watching Josh’s friend Rick hit a ball into a fan. Yeah…we got destructive and were highly entertained by this. As you can see in this picture we are meant to be.

Our wedding was such a small event. We married in the courthouse with a small group of family with us. This was around the time that Josh’s father passed away from esophogial cancer. Josh was actually looking at his father in this picture. It was a rocky time for us. I’m so glad we got through our first year of marriage and came out stronger. So much happened that we never expected.

This is a recent photo of Josh. This man is amazing. He cares so much for me. I never thought I would ever meet someone like him. I didn’t think it was in the cards. I never expected to get married or ever want children. Through Josh I have realized my dreams and experience so much love. He is my biggest supporter and has been beside me through all the hard times.

I know I sugar coat some things but this last month has been rock bottom for me. I didn’t think I could ever feel that horrible. During this time I isolated myself from everyone including Josh. I was short with him and hardly hugged him or touched him at all during this time. I was cold. I feel like a veil has been lifted since I started attending Overeaters Anonymous. I see things with clarity and I don’t put food on such a high pedestal. I feel like I’m back. I want all of you to know how great of a man he is. He never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself.

Lauren

April 26, 2011 at 2:15 pm 4 comments

Fourth OA Meeting

What is abstinence for me?

I am abstaining from fast food.

I am abstaining from vending machines.

I am abstaining from free food at work.

I am abstaining from eating outside my meal plan.

Roseanne S., the founder of OA, states in the book of Abstinence, that originally it meant eating 3 meals a day and nothing between – refraining from snacking. I feel this is unrealistic for myself. Unless I eat large portions during my 3 meals I will become too hungry between the meals. This leads to overeating at one of my meals. For me, I eat 3 meals with 2 snacks. These snacks are portioned out. I do not graze on a container or peanuts but rather eat from a baggie of peanuts I measured out prior.

My meal plan I have devised for myself is really working out. As long as I include foods I enjoy eating I don’t have a problem. Yesterday I included one portion of Ben & Jerry’s icecream in my plan. I ate it slowly and did have a desire to eat more afterwards. I feel it was a bad idea on my part to buy the Ben & Jerry’s in the first place. My excuse was…its Easter even though I don’t celebrate Easter. Great excuse, huh?

Today I went to my fourth Overeaters Anonymous meeting. It was interesting. I had never been to this location before and don’t really want to go back. It was unorganized, lots of cross talk, and even talking over each other. One newcomer was in the middle of talking when a sponser walked in. The room erupted and greeted her loudly. Then one individual asked the newcomer if she was finished yet. I couldn’t believe my ears. Here was an individual that had just said she was in a severe state of depression and this person was so anxious to cut her off to talk to a sponsor that she had spoken to many times before. It was such an unorganized meeting. I would rather not come back to this group however I already changed my schedule at work and there are no other meetings around this time. How disappointing.

A positive about this meeting is that I met a special person. She is 91 years old and claims her long life is due to getting her compulsive overeating in control. She is so cute because she said her starting weight was 206lbs and now she weighs 125lbs. She is such a tiny old lady and has such a great spirit.

I’ve experienced a miracle (in my own terms). I have been sticking to my own eating plan that I write down the prior day. I stick to it and have found out that I’m not as hungry as I once was. Possibly I wasn’t even hungry for food. I was hungry for something else food couldn’t address. I know I was constantly thinking about it. Now I’m thinking about topics much bigger than food.

Today I read from the OA 12 Steps book and the Abstinence book. I created book covers so I can read them at work without any snoopy onlookers.

Stay classy, Internet.

Lauren

April 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm Leave a comment

Older Posts


My name is Lauren and I am struggling to lose 67 pounds. This is my log of my progression, failures, and temptations.

Starting Weight: 217lbs
Highest Weight: 225lbs
Lowest Weight: 176lbs
Current Weight: 198lbs

Email: laurenlosesit@gmail.com

Top Posts

June 2017
S M T W T F S
« Jul    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Enter your email address and I'll let you know when I make a new post!

Join 20 other followers

Awards

SparkPeople
Overeaters Anonymous